Saturday, December 09, 2006 by Ospite.

She had that slightly stoned and drunk look from right off the bat. 35 and still a party girl, you could tell. I mean, she was pleasant enough, but certain things confused her: Why I would pour oil onto a little dish. Why I would talk so loudly. Why I kept skipping her order (after I had taken it twice. That's right. Two different orders.)

"What can I get for you ma'am?"
"Why would you do that?"
"Do what ma'am?"
"Pour that in there. Now there's oil all over it."

At this point, her date, seemingly fifteen years her elder, jumped in with a huge grin on his face.

"That's for the bread."
"But we don't have bread!"
"He'll bring us some."
"But there's oil on there now... I need Citron and Seven.. yeah. mmm.."

More alcohol. Exactly what she needs. They clearly had done some social drinking before leaving for dinner. Who knows, maybe she needed to be loosened up before dating this guy.

"Don't worry, I'm driving."
"No worries. You want me to put that in and hunt down some bread?"
"Yeah, we'll get to ordering shortly."

She wasn't slurring her speech, and there were no specific signs of total inebriation, so there was no reason to cut her off. Besides, they had been sitting for all of 5 minutes. When I came back with the bread and drink she exclaimed, "Oh! Bread. Gooootcha." I couldn't help but chuckle. You know you would have too.

She ordered a salad with seafood with a side of pasta. He ordered a steak, also with a side of pasta.

"Wait, don't leave. Why are you skipping me?"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I had no intentions of doing so. What else can I get you?"
"Well, I need food. For dinner. So. give me. Hmm...pasta something. no, chicken, yeah chicken."

We finally nailed down a chicken dish to her liking and he decided he too needed some alcohol and I couldn't say I blamed him. Part of me felt like asking if her looks were worth the trouble. Instead I just got him his Bud Lite.

"Did you take our menus? I need to order food. I shouldn't drink this much without eating."
Rather than go through the entire ordeal again, I simply said, "Don't worry I've got you covered." and rattled off a particular chicken dish I was sure she'd enjoy.
"Oh, he's good." She leaned precariously over to her gentleman friend to say.
He laughed. Out loud.

With some food in her and water, she started to sober up a bit. They took their time eating and by the end, I think her buzz was gone. I noticed she wasn't getting lost on her way back from the bathroom as she had the pervious two trips.

"Would you like anything else to drink ma'am? Another Citron and Seven?"
"In a couple minutes... ok. Now. Yeah, thanks."

He had another Bud Lite (only number two) and I started clearing the table next to them.

"Hey, do you have a good bartender?"
"Yes, yes we do." She has, in fact, had ample traning in the industry as well as being a professional party planner at the celebrity level. Her annoyance for pricks in showbiz changed her mind for career paths and she bartends on the side of interior design. All that to say, she knows how to play the game, learned a lot along the way, and can sling alcohol with the best of them.
"Good. good good. It's time for shots!" she said with a particular vehemence.
"Really...and what shall we be drinking?"
"Mind Erasers!"

Seriously. Had to be almost forty years old. At an Italian restaurant, not a cub or a bar. But hey, I'm not going to judge. Besides, this guy is happy about the fact that she's warm enough that she's down to her halter top and having a good time. He's paying.

She was happy. He was happy, therefore I was happy...especially when I found a 25% tip left on the table.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, what's a mind eraser? Must not be hip where I'm at...

11:31 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

hehehe....TOO funny! :D

12:09 AM  
Blogger Brad #1 said...

Mind Eraser:

1 part vodka
1 part kahlua
1 part soda

Layer vodka then kahlua then soda on the rocks and suck down with a straw.

12:03 PM  

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At your service, Ospite

I am not in the restaurant business, I am in the people business. I use every opportunity to people watch, because to me, even the most mundane is fascinating.

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