Tuesday, August 29, 2006 by Ospite.

We've picked up a few new waiters recently. Turn-over rate is high in this business. One of the more recent aquisitions is a 20-thing guy who's pretty decent looking, who works out and tends to be rather intelligent. The problem is, he thinks he is the hot catch on the floor. I think he's set the record for having hit on every waitress we've got. With no tact.

"You've got killer eyes."
"You could be the hottest girl working here."
"No, seriously, let me take you out sometime. Believe me I know how to have a good time."
"Tell you what. If you want to party all night long, just come back to my place."

It's a confidence thing...meaning he's been endowed with entirely too much of it.

"I'm the best waiter here because I move the fastest."
"I'm the best waiter here. Don't believe me? Look at my alcohol sales."

We don't care. And we never will.

Enter Waitress Gwen. She's close to the same age, beautiful, and going through a not-so-fun divorce. She's quite possibly the sweetest person I've met. This means she is beyond diplomatic to the point that she sends the wrong signals. She doesn't want to be mean, or hurt anyone. What she doesn't understand is that guys need to be hurt from time to time. Taken down a knotch. Or three. I'm encouraging blatant confrontation on her part.

It's only a matter of time before inter-waitstaff relationships take place, but just like in any other job, it's not a sexfest. And despite the fact there are many parties, and drunken nights spent chilling at one particular waiter's pad, not every waitress, hostess, or bartender is fair game for lewdities.

Enter Waitress Kimberli. Small. Boisterous. Classy. Lovely. But to her misfortune has a rather nice bit of cleavage no matter what she's wearing. She's not of the "if you've got it, flaunt it" school, but some shirts leave less to the imagination than others. So attending a birthday party at said waiter's pad, the afformentioned arrogant "best waiter here" guy walks over to her, reaches out and shoves his bottle of Bud Lite between her breasts.

"Here, hold this...hahahaHAHAhahaha."

What kept her from kneeing him firmly in the groin is beyond me. What makes him think women enjoy this treatment: also beyond me.


Blogger Arhyarion said...

It would have been amusing if you had let her kick him in the groin. ;-)

4:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If he's inappropriate with his peers he's probably doing the same thing with customers. Management would be wise to cut him loose.

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He needs an asskicking. I have the same problem and a friend of mine introduced me to his best friend who decided that a great way to start is by throwing ice down my shirt all nite long. I almost pulled his hair out until my friend dragged him away to sober up. Since then the guy tried to apologize and I won't hear of it. I'm not forgiving.

1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a douche. Soon enough he'll hit on the wrong guy's girlfriend and find himself regretting it. Personally if i had a guy violate my personal space i'd slap him so hard he forgot what day it was. jackass like that probably hits back tho :/

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If this douche was working outside of the restaurant biz, a "real job" if you will, he'd be gone in an instant. Funny how people who would be considered a liability anyplace else are allowed to serve food.

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a total douchenozzle. one of these days he's gonna hit on the wrong chick and end up getting the asskicking he so thoroughly deserves. until that day..

people like him shouldn't even be allowed to exist. what amazes me most though is the fact he's still working there, despite his constant blatant come ons. hasn't anyone complained about his lewdity to management? sexual harassment (usually) isn't taken lightly in any sort of business setting..

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:55 PM  
Blogger Thy said...

how does he get away with this?

i'd pull out that bottle of bud light and hit him on the head.

then kcik him with a pair of stilettos in the groin. technically i'd be touchin g his crotch so im sure he wouldnt mind.

9:32 PM  

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At your service, Ospite

I am not in the restaurant business, I am in the people business. I use every opportunity to people watch, because to me, even the most mundane is fascinating.

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