Wednesday, July 25, 2007 by Ospite.

Lunch lunch lunch and the Trattoria. Typical groove and I've got three tables presently with an open one nearby. The first one has two women with a binder and reading stats for some sales project. The second is a couple that won't say a word to me. The third is a table of two kind gentlemen over a business lunch. I turned around and the fourth was sat with a single gentleman with a Cuban-style shirt and wrap-around sunglasses.

Typical spiel up till:

"So you've been here before then?"
"I actually was one of the chefs when it first opened."
"Well, I can certainly skip all the speeches for you then. Can I get you a beverage while you look through the menu?"
"A Tanqueray and grapefruit, please. But can you make sure there's actually Tanqueray in it this time? Last time it was just grapefruit. And I'll just take spaghetti with meat sauce and meatballs."
"No problem. Thank you sir."
"You are most kind."

I got the drink, rang in the order, and headed back to the table. "How is that?" "Quite good. Thank you for following up."

The meal came promptly, was cheesed, and added a second drink to it. Returning with Drink #2, I asked how everything was.
"Everything is perfect. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar."
"Why thank you sir."

Less than 5 minutes later I found his table empty and a gift certificate laying there. I had not yet presented the bill. I ran the card through and discovered it was shy by about $1.30. What a wonderful past-employee, neither a scholar, nor a gentleman himself.


Blogger Manuel said...

The swine! I had much the same yesterday. Table of two, lovely couple, good conversation, easy table. They had the full deal 4 courses wine, spirits, beers, coffees. When paying the bill they hit me a voucher for a free meal that they won in a competition. They left me a comment card saying how great I was, how great the food and wine was, then left nothing, nowt, not a single penny. Funny how life's winners are in fact real bloody losers.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry about that lousy table! some people can be such a**holes!

9:29 PM  
Blogger 6th Floor blog said...

I wonder if "I was a past chef" is the new "I know the owner"

I don't know though, working at a place, and then only coming back because you have a gift certificate and ordering spaghetti? I like how he convinced you to give him a stronger drink too..

6:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's a special circle of hell for people like that.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Augs Casa said...

Fricken tight ass!

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ah, the verbal tip!
thanks so much. what a jerk!

6:51 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

Ouch, he butters you up, then shortchanges you. Who would've thought he'd be such an asshat?

If I ever saw a guy like that again, I'd tell him his compliments really cheered me up as I was eating my ramen noodles later that night.

Liquor Store Stories

7:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a poopy face!

1:38 PM  

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At your service, Ospite

I am not in the restaurant business, I am in the people business. I use every opportunity to people watch, because to me, even the most mundane is fascinating.

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