Tuesday, October 17, 2006 by Ospite.

It felt like such a long day. I opened lunch and came back on soon after for the dinner shift. There's something weird about how working a double shift in a restaurant can feel like three days worth of work. It's for this reason that I wasn't real happy when I saw table 17 get sat.

They are in there mid twenties and their tips are always atrocious. There's always something small to complain about, some reason to try and get free food. They act pleasant, but somewhere deep inside I think they're hoping to get 'hooked up' because they come off initially as sweet.

"How are you folks doing this evening?"
"We're fine. We don't want to hear the speech. You can skip it."
"Very well. What can I get for you this evening?"
"Arnold Palmers. And can we get strawberry flavor too? And bread. Right away. And balsamic vinegar. And the oil and butter too."

Let me interject that Arnold Palmers are the biggest pain in the buttocks to make. People suck them down like any other drink, and then want hundreds of refills. On top of that in our restaurant we run into another issue: Bev station placement. Where we keep the iced tea is near the bar. The lemonade near the back of the house, and the flavors in a third location near the cappuccino machine. In order to do each AP, you have to hit all three stations. No one ever tips accordingly for them either.

"That took a bit of time for a couple drinks and bread."
"My apologies, Arnold Palmers are a little complicated."
"We understand. Just make sure the refills come soon though, these won't last long."

Clearly they are the only ones inthe restaurant.

me: "So what can I get for your main course?"
wom: "Can you make me a pasta dish with mushrooms, broccoli and penne. I want both alfredo sauce and meat sauce on it."
man: "And I want lasagna with alfredo sauce on top of it."
wom: "And I hate to have to complain, but the bread is substandard tonight."
me: "I'm sorry?"
wom: "Substandard. It's always much better than this."
me: "I'll see what I can do." removing the offending bread from the table...

I retrieve fresh bread which they immediately hack into. By the time I'm ready to turn to the table next to theirs and take their order, I feel a hand grab my arm.

"Still subpar."
"Care you to give a little more detail?
"It's dry and mealy nad jst downright gross inside."
"I am quite sorry. I'll be sure to tell the manager."

Our bread is made specifically for us by our bakery. Thus it's the case of bread, and not the loaf. We can't just up and make bread...it's why we have a bakery. Sadly the entire case was bad,

"I regret to inform you we've had to rid ourselves of that particular case. Hopefully the ones being readied now will be to your satisfaction."
"Good. now, we need refills on the Arnold Palmers."
Once again, they were the only ones in the world who existed.

The new bread was just as bad.

"This bread is just as disgusting as the other three loaves we tried. I would like the manager to provide compensation. He should buy us dessert."
"I'm sorry ma'am, but the entire restaurant is in this position and all the patrons are dealing with the same bread issue. I doubt the manager would go so far as to purchase dessert for the two of you and leave the rest of the patrons hanging, and I know for sure he will not be treating everyone to dessert this evening."
"Well, we should get something because normally there's enough bread to make us happy for the whole meal."
"How were your meals themselves, the bad bread aside."
"Oh, everything else was good."
"Splendid." ...and I walked away.

Just like the last two times I waited on them, their tip was 10%. As they walked out the door, one of the other waiters said, "Ah...so you got the 10% Arnold Palmers tonight huh?" I was relieved to hear it wasn't just me


Blogger Suz said...

"Clearly they are the only ones inthe restaurant."

This seems to sum it up quite well. Entitlement, I swear.....

10:16 PM  
Blogger Thy said...


what a bunch of brats.

kids my age have better manners.

10:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't the bread free? They have some nerve asking for compensation.

5:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alfredo AND meat sauce? These two "kids" weren't by any chance 300 lbs each, were they? Eww! What pigs.

7:55 AM  
Blogger mtbmike said...

It would be hard for me not to tell them, "If you don't like it don't come back". Any word on the crutchmaster?


9:08 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Ah, for pitys' sake! It's not like bread was the only thing they were eating! If it's not fabulous, then don't eat it, right?! gyahhh...
I know somebody like those two. I refuse to eat with him any more...

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Lissa said...

I would have offered to refund the price of the bread.

"Oh, that's right. It's FREE. Well, then, there you go!"

Then mentally bitchslap every single one with a bad loaf of bread as you walk away.

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ech...reminds me of my years in restaurants. Loved the work, hated the people.

Your restaurant blog is my favorite among them, by the way. No waxing philosophical on guests, or drinks, or birds, or whatever the incident happens to be about. Very well written!

6:29 PM  
Anonymous Jenne said...

Please excuse my ignorance, but what is an "Arnold Palmer"??

Love the blog, you're a great writer!


5:42 PM  
Anonymous Bartneder Savant said...

Arnold Palmers are Half Lemonade Hald Iced Tea.

So the mid 20 somethings can't even order "grown up" beverages?

A nice Chianti (to go with the fava beans) perhaps.

I hate pennypinchers. You can't take it with you when you die assholes.

2:43 AM  

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At your service, Ospite

I am not in the restaurant business, I am in the people business. I use every opportunity to people watch, because to me, even the most mundane is fascinating.

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